Back to square One

Hi all!

I thought you might like a sneak peek at my new sweater…

Ta-daam!

Lovely, isn’t it?

Actually, less than half an hour ago it looked like this:

And then my cat got crazy and unravelled it.

No.

Then I unravelled it: yes,  with my own hands.

Girl, are you gone mad?

Well, no. I’m just learning my lessons. This one was about negative ease. You see, without stretch this pattern looks…

…blah!

It needs a negative ease to look its best. The trouble is, I need to avoid the negative ease to look my best. Hence…

I ripped the whole sweater.

How does it feel?

It feels good. Liberating. Empowering.

No, I’m not crazy. The fact of undoing something that was wrong, of letting it go, of restoring harmony brings you an incredible lightness and joy, it brings you peace.

I know what I’m talking about: I’ve been struggling with this sweater for a couple of days, reworking the shoulders again and again, only to get more upset. It was a sign that something went wrong. And then it dawned on me: if I didn’t manage to finish the sweater, it wasn’t because of the shoulders, it was because I didn’t like the fit.

So here we are, back to square One. Back to sketching and swatching. My sweater curse has got  me after all: I’m going to design me a sweater, not knit from a ready-made pattern. I can’t run away from myself: I’m a designer, no matter how hard I try to persuade myself that I’m not.