We need to talk. Come over here, take a seat… That’s right… And now listen to me.
Ugh… It’s not easy to say… You know, I like you a lot. I think you’re super cool… Yeah, really, I do… You’re so hot… And you have a wonderful hazy halo… And those silk threads are really a hit… But… well… I’m sorry, Mohair, but it’s all over between us.
I’ve tried hard. I’ve been patient. I’ve spent time and money on you (and you’re not the cheap kind). I’ve tried different stitch patterns. I’ve changed needle sizes… But nothing has worked and today I’m saying good-bye to you.
No, no, please, don’t cry! You’ll find someone else, someone who will love you, and cherish you, and accept all your whims. I can’t. I’ve no strength left to fight you. You, that won’t knit as I wish and then won’t allow me to rip you. You, that won’t take the shape you’re supposed to take. You, the strong-willed, untameable bast… ehm… I mean, darling! Untameable darling.
Anyway… Good-bye, dear Mohair! Fare thee well (and good riddance!)